WorldMark Expo & Jubilee

As you wander Vegas, you are inundated with all sorts of cheap tricks designed to draw money out of your pocket.  First and foremost, the layout and design of the Strip is maximized to corral the flow of pedestrian traffic into Casinos and areas of commerce.  You are at their mercy to walk where they want you to walk, hear what they want you to hear, and see what they want you to see.  Within this framework, there are street freaks dressed up as movie characters, buskers doing all sorts of weird shit, musicians, and armies of porn-ticket dispensemen dishing out business-card sized porn ads to whoever will take them, using handfuls of tickets as percussion instruments by zipping them across their fingers to create different rhythmic patterns.  If you ever go by them, you should take one just for the experience :)

And then there are the professional promotional people hired by the casinos in order to fill their venues every night.  Show tickets are expensive so anything we can get for cheap or free we are going to take advantage of.  We were approached by a casino-lady in the street and were directed to a booth just inside the door.  I smelled the sales pitch and the bile started rising in my throat, but Tanya is eager to try and experience everything in Vegas and so we stayed.  For $40, we reserved our spot at a time-share expo put on by WorldMark by Wyndham, which we would get back if we attended the session.  For only 2hrs (it was 3hrs) of our time we would receive 2 free show tickets and 2 free buffet tickets.  The show tickets for 'Jubilee' were $75 each, and we wanted to see it so we signed up for the presentation. 

The presentation by the WorldMark guy was pretty good.  The short story of the whole pitch was, that if you spend say, $2500 a year vacationing, after 10yrs you have spent $25,000 on vacations and have nothing to show for it.  But if you invest in 10yrs of vacationing in a time-share group up front, then you've INVESTED that money, and they give you your purchased vacation time back every year til the end of eternity.  After 10yrs it your investment would be paid off and your vacations would become FREE because you are a member of their group.  Your shares can also be willed to your kids, you can bring friends along or share it with other people, so it just keeps building in value as the cost of vacationing keeps goes up every year.  It made complete sense to me, and if I would have had $35,000-$60,000 of expendable cash in my pocket that day, I would have bought in.  But of course, that is just not reality. 

The thing that stuck in my side the most about his presentation was when he explained it and wrote it out on paper, that in the past 10yrs, with no accumulated interest in our vacationing habits, we've WASTED 100% of our money on vacationing instead of investing that money in a vacation time sharing program.  I read those words on his paper and my veins ignited with adrenaline.  I pointed at it and looked at Tan and drew out my thick country drawl, "Lookie there Tan," I said, "We've been complete fuckin' idiots all this time, wasting all our money on vacations by visitin' friends and relatives, campin' and roamin' all around the maritimes..."  He was taken aback by this and forced to revise his statement to chill the air, saying that from a 'business perspective', our money was just going away instead of being invested into something that would continue to become more valuable over time, "100% FINANCIAL WASTE".  Indeed.  We declined the offer, so they brought in the relief sales-pitcher for one last swing at us and this time, he convinced us to sign up for the 'trial' version of their program.  They weren't slick or greasy about it or anything, and I liked both those guys.  They just laid it out matter-of-factly and stated the truth.  If you plan on continuing to vacation at resorts around the world, it makes smarter business sense to invest in something like this.  So we signed up for the trial version that will pay for our stay in Hawaii when we decide to make that trip, so it should be worth it.  But that '100% wasted vacations' statement really bothered me.  I've never wasted ANY of my vacation time.  I've been wasted on vacation a few times, but I've never wasted it.  At the end of the day we got our $40 back, our show tickets to go see 'Jubilee', and free buffet tickets.

On monday night we set out for the show.  Jubilee has been running for 3decades and has continually received accolades as one of the top shows of its kind in the world.  Truth be told I wasn't sure what we were about to experience, so there were no expectations.  It also should be noted that I'm not a fan of musicals.  A friend once called me 'un-cultured' because I didn't like The Who's 'Tommy'.  I just don't have the stomach for that show-tune shit, and so I walked into it unaware. 

The theatre at Bally's was nice, our seats were near the back and we were early which allowed me time to sip my double rum and enjoy the pre-show spectacle.  The theatre was quite empty until the tour buses started arriving and then all at once a great number of asians began pouring into the auditorium.  The air was suddenly filled with the gurgles of hundreds of people walking around in confusion trying to find their seats in languages we didn't understand.  Tan and I giggled and helped a few lost souls read their tickets and point them in the right direction and for about 15 minutes it was a pretty funny scene. 

When the show started, my stomach sank.  Fucking show-tunes and gay chorus lines!  The stage filled up with about 60 topless women, scantilly clad, bookended and interspersed by a few goodie-two shoe'd wholesome show-boys.  The ladies were fantastic, but we were too far back to fully appreciate all the beauty that was before us.  You would have to be down on the floor to get the overwhelming specialness of the show I guess.  From where we were, those 60 hot bodies and 120 tits blended to be just part of the whole set and really not all that special at all.  The asian guys all around us were perched on the fronts of their seats with binoculars to get a closer look.  I would prefer the up close and personal show of a stripper rather than this old-style, showgirl grandiosity.  My innards churned at the brutal music and singing and choreography, song after song, scene after scene in my own personal hell that lasted for over an hour.  The saving moments of the night were the breaks in the show when the music and singing stopped,  the curtains closed and circus performers came out to the refreshing pulse of industrial, techno music.  There were a few different acts, totally independent from the show and incredibly talented performers. 

The rum was excellent and the beer was good too, but not good enough to help me enjoy Jubilee.  Tanya really enjoyed it though, so all was good.  I will also give their show full appreciation for their elaborate costumes and incredible set designs.  The spectacle was quite something to see so I am glad we got to experience it, but that kind of thing is lost on me, the 'un-cultured' mountain man.

You can find a better review of Jubilee HERE.

Thanks for reading.