The Cupid

As one of our first friday night outings in Las Vegas, Tanya took me down to Fremont Street, which is famous for a lot of things, most recently for its ginormous canopy of LED video screens which obliterate the sky for a full 3-blocks.  Its cool in a geeky how'd-they-do-that sorta way, but I'm a hummbugger for the Vegas schticks and fake fantasies.  I don't like the crowds, the freaks, the smoke, the intense bombardment of sounds and flashing lights, and the whole letloose-anything-goes vegas vibe.  I would have to have to be really drunk to enjoy the scene down there.  Plus, Tanya took me there hungry, which she should have known better not to do.  The smoke and the crowds of the casino did me in right away and finding food away from the mayhem became critical.

We wandered away from Fremont and found some peaceful streetside seats on the patio of the Mob-Bar for a little something to eat.  They had a tapas menu, with everything about $5-$10.  Service was excruciatingly slow but that was OK, lots of time to quell the nerves and centre myself over beers and Tanya's company.  The drawn out 1.5hr dinner was amazing and our waitress comp'd us a round of beers for our extended wait for food and many apologies for the slowness of their kitchen, so all was well.  One thing I can say about Vegas, the service is Tops!  They WANT you at their establishment and they're happy to serve you, whether its fake or not who knows but I get the feeling its genuine because it happens everywhere you go.  You want to leave a tip for them, because they care.  After some food and beer, I was ready for the crowds again and we wandered back into the madness.

I'll tell ya a tale of the Vegas freaks.  They're everywhere!  From the visiting drunks who get out of control and make asses of themselves in public to the people who make it their life's work to dress up as movie characters and wander Fremont or the Strip and play movie character roles, making money by people getting their picture taken with them.  Some of the characters are good, some are just horrible.  Some make no sense whatsoever.  Some, I think, are just regular Joe's who are deciding that today, because anything goes in Vegas, I will wander the crowd with my balls hanging out just to see how long I can get away with it.  I haven't seen that yet and hope I never do, but I know its out there somewhere.  The freaks, publicly playing out the human fantasy. 

It was 10pm.  Every hour the Fremont lights dim to make way for the Big Show, the ginormous LED screen canopy comes to life to honor long gone rock'n rollers with a video montage set to their music and played through an amazing, kickass sound system of hundreds of speakers.  Everything on Fremont street stops in its tracks to stare at the kaleidescope of video overhead.  I was ready to leave earlier but Tan urged me to stay for the Doors show, and being a big fan I was OK with that.  We staked out a good spot, and the street stopped moving as the lights dimmed and the sound came up all around.

I was staring at the ceiling watching the video and enjoying the music when all of a sudden, an old man flittered past me and the first thing I noticed was that he wasn't wearing any pants and has his underwear jimmied up his ass crack.  He whirled into the crowd like a ballet dancer in his barefeet and a dirty old white t-shirt, and had a pair of feathery fairy wings strapped to his back.  He was also wielding a badly designed bow and arrow with a fat, red heart on the end of his arrow.  I clued in, he's supposed to be a cupid.  A terrible, old, gay fucking cupid.  With exception of his badly designed wings and bow, he was just a gross old man in his t-shirt and underwear up his ass, twirling about in public doing ballet moves he shouldn't be doing.  It was repulsive.  He flirted and twirled about the crowd looking for a place to strike, but everywhere he flittered the people moved back.  It seemed innocent enough but he was freaking people out and soon, a wide berth opened up all around him and all the paparrazzi got their cameras out to take pictures and film him.  I was right on the edge of this vortex of madness but I refused to move from my space, trying to ignore him and just waiting for him to tempt me so i could shove a big Fuck Off fist in his face.  Tanya was freaked out too, and called me to move away from him.  The old man flittered around the crowd, pitifully alone in his ever-widening circle from person to person, couple to couple, seeking the attention no one would give him while Jim Morrison screamed 'Break on Through to the other side' high above the scene.  This went on an awkwardly long time until suddenly, out from of the crowd came a deliciously curvy young blonde, striding seductively out towards him in her bare feet, long curly locks and a short, skin tight white dress!  She sashayed up to him and put her arms around his neck and joined the old man in his flittering dance of love!  The Cupid was all aglow, so happy his aphrodite had finally arrived!  She played the part so well too, so sexy, so delicious!  I'm sure every man in the audience was envious of the Cupid's efforts at that moment.  He was in his element to have finally broken through and the crowd tittered and cheered them on in their sexy dance.  She left after a short time back to her much amused friends watching from the sidelines and when she returned to her cheering crew, her boyfriend, not wanting to be outdone, strutted confidently out into the circle in his barefeet and open shirt to join the Cupid in his sexy dance!  The old man was overjoyed and was all over the young buck in the same way he'd just done his girlfriend.  The crowd cheered as they danced while the Doors sang 'People are Strange', and the Cupid played his role in the arena that he'd created while everyone was happily entertained at the spectacle.  Quite a clever little coup if he was a real street performer.  And if he was just another Vegas freak, he still executed his mad desire on a willing crowd. 

The show was over, the lights and sounds of the casino came up, the moving madness began again and all was whisked away with the crowd.  Such a strange happening, I thought, how that old man went from being such a repulsive freak in my mind to rise as the unlikely underdog that everyone cheered for in the end.  I was really happy that it worked out for him.  We are all alone in our strange little ways and we need that special someone to tell us that its OK, that our strangeness is normal.

There is no such thing as normal, especially in Vegas.